Flight @ Tuesday, Sept. 26, 2006 * 11:02 pm

*dsclaimer* feeling "gl" tnite. im not responsible for the mental or physical health of anyone who reads wat im goin to crap abt, other than of course the mental health of my own.

this is done while peering out the window into the clear nite sky, strangely windless. All this, vividly
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Time is precious. Stop admiring the full-moon. Uve got work to do

Take a step

Take a second. Do u feel the wind under your right foot?

Take a third. Wait..put ur right foot down 1st. U cant put ur right foot down... cos its air underneath it.

Apply kinematics. S= ut + 1/2 at^2. air's relatively stable, so assume negligible air resistance. assume 0 initial velocity. Damn assume anyting u wan. 18floors = 18X3 = 54m
54 = 1/2 X 9.8 X t^2

Apply math. T =2.347s Thats weird. Rumour has it that it takes forever to travel that distance down. Nvm. assume u have 2.347s. Actually thats a mighty short time.

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why are u even tinking so long? Take the third step. Eyes are closed, arms folded. U learnt diving, rite? feet first, or head first, wichever u wan to preserve more.

If u would plot D/t, v/t, a/t graph, u could.

t=0 its like a roller coaster ride! wooo the thrill, the exhilaration, the ride!

t= 0.5 eyes suddenly are open. flashes of lights. streets lights, HDB flat lights, starlights..... moonlight

t=1 flashback. images. shuttling along. Am i reading a book? like im flipping furiously thru a photo album?

1

t=2 time slows down. As u approach ur finality, time slows down as if to mourn ur passing, but in fact, its a "black hole phenomena". time slows as it approaches point of singularity because light is slowed and distorted by gravity.

t=? eyes are shut, but u see pictures, images, of pple, of events, of happenings, of failures, of successes, of regrets, of achievements, of tings to be done, of tings undone...

see a browned autumn leaf falling. Drifting. Floating. Descending. Its world path all the time being traced by invisible caressing air molecules.

Autumns a season of separation, of ending. Not winter, not many survive till winter.

Its been a tough road turning, but the end is in sight. Winter's cold came all too slow. u were sick and tired of clouds so grey.

T=2.347 Farewell - a slow caress, a reluctant slide, of the curtains of the window, as they gently snuff out the fading, ailing moonlight from the auburn-red night sky

T>2.347 life goes on in death. U close the windows and kiss ur love gdnite.

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In Latin, and its not "Clostridium Botulinum" or "Homo Sapien". Funny how some pple find such household terms alien and can rattle on abt the " consummate ramifications that u mundane denizens contrive to derogate in ur simple and uncomplicated(insensate) world."

"Transire suum pectus mundoque potiri"
- Rise above oneself and grasp the world

(might be helpful in GP)

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problem solved. phew. Time to sleep =)
gd luck for math tmr.

the past, the present, the future @ Monday, Sept. 18, 2006 * 11:47 pm

Do you believe in time travel? Or do u believe time travels unidirectionally?

Consider this situation. One person goes back into time and murders his grandfather when his grandfather was still a child. He then returns to the present. Does he still exist then? If he did exist then his grandfather didnt die in his childhood, but if he didnt exist how could he go back in time to kill his grandfather in the first place?

Short of toking about parallel universes and tachyon particles that travel faster than speed of light, i shall blabber on a while more abt the past, present and future

What can u feel abt ur past? Does the past even exist in this world? It might, in the memories of our minds. The pple who touched our lives, the events that changed us. All this happened in the past. But can u realli find ur past? The brain of humans work intimately with the brains of computers in some sense, cos the brain requires memory, in addition to processing power, to do work, and the brain works by memory, of previous knowledge, by remembering past patterns. Could our very past be determined by a set of rules, analagous to the circuitry of the RAM boards in our computers? I wonder.

SImilarly, the future could then be interpretated as our brain's ability to extrapolate our past in an attempt to predict the outcome that hasnt occured yet. Coming back to my petword "expectations", we do expect a lot of ourselves, and work towards it But where do we get our expectations from? Our vision for the future could conjured from a series of our past experiences. E.G. i envision myself to fail physics since from my past experience, ive been failing them.

what i jus said is goin to lead me to conclude that both the past and the future are figments of our brain activity, the former a creation of memory, the latter the product of imagination and inference. Focus on the ever-changing present, taste its tangible flavours, inhale its scent, feel its texture and see through the windows of ur soul, b4 it becomes ur past. Even if the present seems hopeless and desolate. Even if u want to die. Even if Even if ur living in the past, or living for the future =)

Exams, school @ Wednesday, Sept. 14, 2006 * 12:32 am

haha cg i tink its a combination of 2,3,4. 1 definitely dun pertain to me... ah well. im getting addicted to posting stuff here, instead of mugging, but since tmr is physics....

Purposes of examination of subjects

Maths: primarily to make pple feel tired mentally DURING and AFTER 3 hours but sparing ur arm. Allows pple to tink abt whats expected of them. Maths (at the PSLE level) also allows u to do some calculations so that that indian neighbourhood shop owner cant cheat u of 5 cents of ur daily coke or bag of chips. STATS (at A levels) allow u to go one step further and tell the owner the null hypothesis that the prices he charges are reasonable is rejected in favour of the alternate hypo at the S.L of 100%. and walk away leaving him perturbed.

(food)Chem: primarily so that u can use ur newfound prowess in food chem (not as a food analyst or dietrician), to politely inform ur mum (thereby irritating her) while she stands for hours everyday in the kitchen conducting maillard reactions, preventing salmonella from attacking ur stomach, preventing polyphenolase from browning apples. OH, and 1 more, ur food chem exam supports u in ur quest to eat more instant noodles while u sit b4 the TV or COM, cos theres carrots and chives (i dun eat veg....) and more imptly....VITAMIN E!!!!

Bio: primarily as an experiment to investigate whether arm muscle, time, ambidexterity or other factors is the limiting factor in percentage scored. Brainpower/background knowledge is a constant variable. AFter 5 repeats (BT12005 - prelim 2006), one can conclude in the midst of severe finger cramp, heartache or uncontrollable anger, that bio papers show that arm strength is the limiting factor for the marks u get, at low levels of time. BIO(GnD Repro)also equips u with the skills necessary to be a calm and collected father-to-be in the delivery room, telling ur wife (if she isnt sedated already) to relax cos partuition will occur soon, and calming her by informing that the oxytocin induced contractions will cease after the positive feedback loop is cut off when the baby gets out.

Physics: Yay now tats slacky. AFter 4 papers and possible a 5th, one concludes (no, its jus me for tis one) tat physics paper can be used as a treatment for insomnia. Other purposes include resting of the arms and the brain. (what else can i do if i finish the paper with 1 hour remaining, except i left half the ting blank and spending more time on it wont help but relieve the ache on my arms after bio?)Physics allows u to tink u know everyting but when u do the paper, u dont know anyting.

GP: primarily to rant and rave abt anyting one likes, cept one has to couch one's inflammatory remarks in the hypocrisy of civilised language. For others, GP comes once in a full moon. GP allows u to tell others that u have exhibited critical thinking and analytical skills cos u saw the absolute (always) and realised (wow) that its wrong immediately. GP allows u to showcase ur intelligence (empty vessels make the loudest noise afterall) and the louder u are,the greater potential u have to store tings!!!

PW: Whats the purpose? I tink Im expressing more critical tinking by doin this than 8 months of that. Unfortunately someting thats meant to be fun to do falls flat so badly its ugly. And the best part about it is that some random MO* guy gets to grade ur work, even if hes an atomic scientist under the

P-olitically and S-ocially C-leaned out scholarship

and you are writing about how one day Mickey Mouse can conquer the Singapore, which he then fails u angrily because you are undermining (hush...walls have ears)Undoubtedly the most pristine piece of c*AR*p that ever descended from the high heavens (aka MO*), even the writing of ur own testimonial cant hold 1/10 of a candle to it.

*Perhaps a close 2nd might be the linearisation of CIP hours against capacity for love and welfare. Again it seems convenient to assume someone who has more hours is more loving and more society-sh*gging than someone with say... 12h. OH and wats with the arbitrary y-intercept at 12hours? thankfully whoever concerned stopped smoking pot in the form of NE and took it away

PE(NAPFA): physical education, physical excruciation, ponning exercise, u choose it, PE has a special and unique meaning to each and everyone of us =D

*end of rant* next time ill post someting more insightful, mebe during the wkends

chEezy~ @ Sunday, Sept. 10, 2006 * 9:48 pm

hey zhipeng. after reading ur entry ive some conclusions.

you either:

1.studied too much maths
2.think too much [which is quite normal for u i think]
3.too bored frm mugging
4.starting to get frustrated from mugging.

haha. but still. it was an interesting read. and no nid to put caps on my initials. cg looks better than CG. looks so attention grabbing in a string of lowercase. i shy leh. ahhahahahhahah =X

okay tmr prelims alr. NO EXPECTATIONS because paper 1 stats not tested muahahaha. jiayou C=

expectations @ Friday, Sept. 08, 2006 * 12:24 am

this place is becoming my personal graffiti wall/ rambling space liao... with CG maintaining it and virtually noone else reading it though...haha..

now tat schools over and theres like 3 months b4 half the population of singaporean 18year olds undergo a period of neural degeneration at the expense of physical improvement, we've got tons of time left hanging around like pork on a hook at some butcher's store, and then we choose to hawk them for different prices...( i chose to sell some of my time tonite in exchange for some venting and vomiting...)

granted its getting very very very boring trying to read tings that we already learnt during lessons, tings that we tink we know when we read them, but the very tings that we forget during exams. someting that got into my head recently was why am i expected to rmb the tings i know?

Argh but im not goin down the well-trodden path of lambasting certain invisible individuals high up the mount everest of educational hierachy again. too tiring.... and even then the sound waves undergo damping and never reach those heights anyway.

My focus tonite tends more towards the word EXPECTATION.

e.g a for a game of fair coin toss, if heads u win $1, tails u lose $1. E(x) is shown to be 0 den.... but is that realli the expectation? of wat exactly?

The game is expectated to have a 0 gain ultimately. But the expectation of a player MIGHT not be 0. heres a few cases:

1. the player is an intelligent and law-abiding subspecie of Homo Sapien ... to understand and follow the rules of the game (no cheating, whining, backstabbing, praying, outside influence)
2. the player plays for an agenda to win, to deliberately lose, to play it for the sake of proving me wrong, for fun... etc.
3. the player has limit of patience. (u can try and flip coins infinite times to prove me wrong, even if u succeed u fall into CAT 2 =D )

So. wat did math teach us abt expectation? im not too sure too.. issit someting like the average predicted outcome of an event? someting was said abt the number of outcomes being infinite...then someting abt unbiasedness... but apart from tis i dunno liao.

so everyones EXPECTED to do well in the prelims (not JUS the prelims but in life as well... among other stuff) but obviously the EXPECTATIONS of each individual is goin to be different. how then are we goin to to meet up with expectations.. if

1.our expectations are biased (i.e we define our expected marks or our parents)
2.clearly we dun have infinite tries at the prelims
3.our probabilities of doin "well" for them are not well-defined.

What is in my control? U might argue its time. again it comes back to the pork seller.

R u trying desperately to hawk time in exchange for mugging? Time is scarce, and demand is high, but is the time u have more valuable then say.. time 1 year ago?

Or r u expecting to make a profit out of selling valuable time to higher bidders like computer games, TV, fun.

OR r u a "philantropist", donating, or throwing away time to "higher" needs, like sleep, health, welfare (excluding CIP... cos in CIP u trade time for worthless ink on the numbers of ur testimonial and more valuable but misleading first impression of others) anyone?, and thought?

OR r u a miser (like me =S), hoarding all ur time and but like water, time seeps thru the gaps of ur hands

Well, I do try to meet the expectations, like everyone else does.

apparently im destined to fall short of expectations.

Jus like when Im in desperate need of time, time seeps away from my hands faster, the tighter i clench my grip around it. I guess i prefer to let it flow out in a relaxed fashion while i type tis ting away.

chEezy~ @ Friday, Sept. 01, 2006 * 8:17 pm

HULLO

NEW MONTH

which means we're getting very very near to prelims and of course. 'a's.

MUST PERSEVERE ON 2 more months till it all ends C=

jiayous 7d i know we can all make it de. 5 pointed heads pointing up on our certs. C=

yay.